Military Ranks

When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough. "That's the only way to command respect in the Army," his friends said. So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his mouth. "Show me a sergeant and I'll show you a dope," Reggie shouted. No sooner had he spoken than a brawny, battle-hardened figure appeared. "I am a sergeant!" he bellowed. "I am a dope," whispered Reggie.

Dangerous Things in the Army

A private saying, “I learned this in boot camp…”
A Sergeant saying, “Trust me, sir…”
A Second Lieutenant saying, “Based on my experience…”
A Captain saying, “I was just thinking…”
A Warrant Officer chuckling, “Watch this shit…”

Clinton Strikes Again

The Secret Service got a real scare the other day when someone threw a beer at Bill Clinton during his morning jog.
Fortunately, it was a draft, so he was able to dodge it.