Math & Science Jokes - Others

Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

Yo' Mama is so ugly, she's donating her body to science fiction.

Sea-Floor Spreading Lament (folksong) by Brenna Lorenz

Refrain: Alas for the spreading of the ocean, Alas for the spreading of the sea, Alas for every year that passes by, Taking you two inches more from me! Oh, why did you leave our native plate, Causing me to weep and to mourn? With the plates diverging at such a rate, To leave me alone and lorn? If only the mantle would my counsel take, If the Earth would but listen unto me, I'd say, "Your convection cell remake, And bring my darling back to me!" So dive you down, you ocean dark, Part of the mantle be- Fire you up, you island arc - Subduct my darling back to me! 

I bet you're metric kilotons of fun.

Economics is ruining your life when...

- I tried to calculate my 3 year old son's discount rate by seeing how many sweets he would require to be promised to him after dinner to be equivalent to one sweet before dinner. 

- I spent one hour in a toy shop making up over 20 bundles of toys that could be purchased for $25 and then asked my son to select one of these bundles.