We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Earth Science Answers

Real Answers From Earth Science Exams

  • The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants.
  • Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic.
  • The main problem associated with limestone aquifers is Lyme disease.
  • We don't have rock salt on Guam because that forms from from evaporation of oceans and we don't have oceans on Guam.
  • Erie, Pennsylvania has no volcanoes because it's too cold there.
  • The most important agent of landscape formation on Guam is greyhounds - they are intelligent.
  • We know that the sun is much farther away from us than the moon is, because we can see stars between us and the sun, but not between us and the moon.
  • The rear end of a trilobite is called a trilobutt. 

Economics Ruins Life

Economics is ruining your life when...

- I tried to calculate my 3 year old son's discount rate by seeing how many sweets he would require to be promised to him after dinner to be equivalent to one sweet before dinner. 

- I spent one hour in a toy shop making up over 20 bundles of toys that could be purchased for $25 and then asked my son to select one of these bundles. 

Two Evil Friars

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in their floral shop, come up with a plant that would devour the townspeople one by one until none were left. They set forth to put their plan into action by planting the man-eating plants so they encircled the village. As the plants rapidly grew, they began devouring everything living in their path. The townspeople grew frightened; who or what would save them from their eminent doom? Finally, the town's elder remember Hugh, a woodcutter who lived on the outskirts of town. Frantically, the townspeople penned a desperate plea for help, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and directed the bird toward Hugh's cabin. Meanwhile, outside of town, Hugh had received the note from the townspeople, and realizing they were in grave danger, set forth to do what he needed to do. He honed his mightiest axe to razor-sharpness, grabbed his hat, and off he went. Chopping his way through the dense vines, he single-handedly destroyed the carnivorous plants one by one, until all were destroyed. Then he set out to rid the village of the evil friars, chasing them out of town. The town was saved!!! The people rejoiced and knighted Hugh for his brave and timely efforts to save the village!!! And the moral of the story is: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Science Fiction Writers to Change Lightbulb 2

Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

Yo Mama - Donating Body

Yo' Mama is so ugly, she's donating her body to science fiction.