New Millennium

Recently, on an outing with my scout troop, the question came up of whether the new millennium began January 1st, 2000, or 2001.
The Scoutmaster explained that each century begins with year "1" and ends with year "100" —  the 20th century began at the start of 1901 and ended at the close of 2000.
To illustrate his point, the Scoutmaster gathered 15 berries and asked the boys how many he had. Each boy correctly answered "15".  
"Now which berry is number '0'?" He asked next, to which one boy blurted out:
"The one that isn't there!"

Pliers

"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." -- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

Test Rabbits Escape

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."