Two Molecules

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"

Proof Points

Two Math Professors Are Sitting In A Pub. "Isn't it disgusting," the first one complains, "How little the general public knows about mathematics? "Well," his colleague replies, "You're perhaps a bit too pessimistic." "I don't think so," the first one replies. "And anyhow, I have to go to the bathroom."
He goes off and the other professor decides to use this opportunity to play a prank on his colleague. He calls over the pretty blonde waitress. "When my friend comes back, I'll wave you over to our table and I'll ask you a question. I would like you to answer, 'x to the third over three', can you do that?"
"Sure." The girl giggles and repeats several times. "x to the third over three, x to the third over three, x to the third over three..."
When the first professor comes back from the washroom, his colleague says, "I still think you're way too pessimistic. I'm sure the waitress knows a lot more about mathematics than you give her credit for."
He gets her attention and motions of her to come to their table.  He then asks her, "Can you tell us what the integral of x squared is?" She replies: "x to the third over three."
The other professor's mouth drops wide open, and his colleague grins smugly when the waitress adds: "Plus C"

Busted

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.