Digit Squeeze

Q: What did the number zero say to the number eight?
A: Why have you got your belt pulled so tight?

Infinite Mathematicians in a Bar

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "Ok, I get it!" and pours two pints.

Number Scare

Q: Did you here about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
A: He will stop at nothing to avoid them.