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The best jokes and joke writers!

Chauvinist Pigs...Bulb?

Q:  How many male chauvinistic pigs does it take to change a light bulb?

A:  None. Let the bitch do it by herself. Or None. Let the bitch cook in the dark.

How Many Mimes?

Q: How many mimes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 2, the trick is getting them IN there.

American Footballers to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many American footballers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two - one to screw it in and the other to recover the fumble.

USENET Changes a Lightbulb

 How many USENET posters does it take to change a lightbulb

A1. Define "change"

A2. How do you know the lightbulb is out?

A3. Don't use the word "posters" to describe us, it's offensive to large sheets of papers with pictures on them which hang on walls.

A4. That question is not appropriate for this group, please take itelsewhere.

A5. I think it's perfectly appropriate, this is alt.fan.lightbulbs.

A6. Well, that's because you're a twit.

A7. Who are you calling a "twit"? Besides, you spelled "twit" wrong.

A8. Oh? And how exactly do *you* spell "twit", twit?

A9. Could you two take this to e-mail? Doesn't anyone want to talk about lightbulb fans instead of flaming?

A10. You're a twit also, who died and made you net.cop?

A11. Look, all of you, take it to alt.flame or e-mail or something.

A12. Hey, USENET is an anarchy, you have no right to tell them what to post or not post.

A13. Speaking of anarchists, why don't you all vote for Andre Marrou,Libertarian Party Candidate for President?

A14. Because the Libertarians are all twits.

A15. Wait aminit! Now we're arguing politics on alt.fan.lightbulb????

A16. Stop wasting bandwidth with this stuff!

A17. What "stuff" pray tell?

A18. Yikes! It's dark in here!

A19. Define "dark".

A20. I mean the lightbulb must be out.

A21. So change it.

A22. Define "change"...

Light Bulb - Marketing Director

Q: How many marketing directors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?