Kindergarten Teacher

A kindergarden teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her, absentmindedly she removed her glasses to clean them. "Wow, Miss Collins!", one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on !" Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"

Everybody's Doing it

This boy was ordered from the pool for pissing in the water. "That's ridiculous!" he shouted at the pool manager. "Everybody does it." "That may be so," came the reply, "but usually not from the diving board."

Eating with Children

A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss.  All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year-old girl stared at her father's boss sitting across from her.
The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.  The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him.
He tried his best to just ignore her but, finally it was too much for him.  He asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response.
The little girl said, "My Daddy said you drink like a fish and I don't want to miss it!"