Don't Need One

A little boy plays in a sandbox with the little girl from next door. He brags, "I have a big fire engine." The girl responds, "So what? I have a fire engine too." He says, "I have a toy tank." She replies, "So what? I have a tank, too." The young boy drops his pants and says, "I have a penis!" The little girl looks down her pants and runs home crying. The next day, the little girl returns to the sandbox. The little boy says, "You still don't have a penis and I do!" "Well," says the little girl, "my mom told me not to worry about it. She said as long as I have what I have, I can get as many of those as I want."

Chicken Little

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy shit! A talking chicken!'"

Picking on Chelsea Clinton

One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House, I want something done about it immediately!" "Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies. "I'll take those mirrors out right away!"