Stupid Insults
Couldn't find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him.
Couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel.
Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Couldn't think/pee his way out of a paper bag.
Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick.
Cunning as a dodo bird.
Cursor's flashing but there's no response.
Dealing with him is less fun than going to the dentist.
Dealing with him is one angst worse than a blind date.
Dense as a London fog.
His dock doesn't quite reach the water.
Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock.
Doesn't adjust for leap years.
Doesn't consider his drive a slice unless it lands two fairways over.
Doesn't have a round in every chamber.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash / cups in the cupboard / groceries in the same bag.
Doesn't have all the dots on his dice.
Doesn't have both oars in the water.
Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks.
