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The best jokes and joke writers!

Girl at the Bar

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,

"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Yo Momma - Hide-N-Seek

Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a watertower.

Blocking The Tide

Yo mama so fat she sat at the edge of the ocean and the lifeguard said, "Ma'am, you're blocking the tide."

Yo Mama - Apple Products

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!

Bull Auction

One fine Sunday afternoon, a couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:

"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."

The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments, "See? That was more than 5 times a month!"

The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."

Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month.What do YOU say to that?!" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"

The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!!"