Dying Lawyer

A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with money thinking he could pick them up on his way to heaven. Several weeks after his funeral the widow found two pillowcases full of cash in the attic. "The old fool," she thought, "I knew I should have left them in the basement!"

Never

Yo mama is so ugly that when Justin Bieber saw her, he said "Never."

Yo Mama - Hips

Yo mama's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.