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The best jokes and joke writers!

Pen Love

Q: When 2 Pens fall in love, what do you call them?


Skunk Love

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

A: Yes,  they're very scentimental!

Sheep Love

Q: What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
A: You’re not so baaaa-d!

Valentine's Date

Q: Do you have a date for this Valentine's day?

A: Yes, her name is Emma. Emma Gination.

MAFIA Valetine Card Verses

  • My love for you... it came and went.
  • So your feet are now in wet cement.
  • I'm here To fulfill your fondest wishes, Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes.
  • Lie down with me -- it's my final offa, Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
  • I picked up this card from a slim selection, But that's all they offer here in witness protection.
  • Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.
  • Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass; So please be mine, Valentine, or I'll have to whack your ass.
  • Violets are blue, roses are red, I blew up your car -- So why ain't you dead?
  • The day we met, my little pet, I knew with just one look, You'd bear a son, and now that's done, So shut your mouth and cook!
  • Youse da greatest. Youse da best. But you're as untouchable as Elliot Ness.
  • Lust is fleeting, true love lingers. Be mine always and you'll keep your fingers.
  • Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know, dis ain't really what a guy's heart looks like.
  • When a goon makes you die, Cuz you told him goodbye -- that's amore!