Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Skeleton in a Bar

A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop.

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Holiday Jokes (Halloween Jokes) , One-Liner Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Hybrid Clover

Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?
A: A rash of good luck.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Riddles (Riddles for Kids) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Season's Greetings!

Money's short, times are hard. Here's your fucking Christmas card.
T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house, everybody felt shitty, even the mouse.
Mum at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter.
Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I knew in a moment It must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, sure enough, the fucker had fell.
He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother, the Queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a bitch blew the chimney apart!
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight, piss on you all and have a hell of a night.

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes
Submitted BY: TwizSis