God's First Name

This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter is standing at the gate. He says, "If you can answer these three questions I will let you in to heaven. First, how many seconds are in a year? Second, how many days of the week have a 'T' in them? Third, what is God's first name? You have until tomorrow to answer these questions."
The guy comes back the next day, St. Peter asks the first question and the guy says, "Twelve." "Twelve?" says St. Peter, "how did you get that?" The man replied, "January 2nd, February 2nd and so on." Peter thinks it over and says, "Well that is not exactly what I meant, but it's technically correct, so I will give you credit." Then St. Peter asks the second question and the guy answers, "Two." St. Peter asks how he got that answer and the man explains, "Today and Tomorrow." St. Peter again admit that wasn't what he had in mind, but he'll accept that. Peter then asked the third question; God's first name. The man says, "Howard. " St. Peter, really perplexed, inquires how the guy got that and the man says, "You know, it's in the prayer: 'Our Father who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...?"

Why Ask Why - 3

• When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
• If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
• Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
• Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
• Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
• Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
• Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
• Why does one get in trouble for wreckLESS driving?
• Does a fish get cramps after eating?
• Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Flying Near Athens

As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?" "Just snow," replied the stewardess. "That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."