Starbucks Visit

A philosopher, a mathematician, and a physicist were at Starbucks. The mathematician turns to the physicist sitting next to him and says "You know, physics is just applied mathematics!"
They all have a good laugh, at which point the philosopher interjects from across the table. "And mathematics is just applied philosophy!" The laughter roars even louder, and then the physicist turns to the philosopher.
"Shut the fuck up and make my coffee."

Always Remember the 'ABC' Rule of First Aid

A
Bone
Coming out through the skin is very bad

Rebel Booty Call

You may be a square, baby, but you're round in all the right places...