Signs and Notices 16

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• At a restaurant in New York: "Tip-ing is not a city in China."
• Here is a great sign I saw in the grocery store: "Snickers, 5 for $1.00. (limit 4)"
• On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: "Safety ladder, climb at own risk."
• Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA "Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!"
• Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building: "Run like Anything!"
• Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) "Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."
• Sign on the wall of the office of an ethnologist: "Beware of bargains in 1. Parachutes 2. Life preservers 3. Brain surgery 4. Eye Care
• Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: "Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"

NY Times Ad

Ad seen in the New York Times... FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f#*#ing everything.

Stupid Quotes Around The World

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.

• "That race was all about competition." - David Coleman, ITV
• "And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us." - Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3
• Mark Goodier: What's the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do; is it mining and engineering services? - BBC Radio 1
• "Marling - unbeaten in her three victories." Peter O'Sullivan, BBC2 TV
• " Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets." James Hunt, BBC2 TV
• "A church spire nestling among the trees... there's probably a church there too." - Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV