Brrr Its Cold
An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman. The next day his prick turns black. He runs to a doctor and asks, "Doctor, is this some weird venereal disease?" "Worse," says the doctor. "It's frostbite!"
Speciality of the Day
A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge plate, which the tourist eats with relish. The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more scrumptious. The third day he does the same and the fourth, but on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, and they bring him two very small balls on a big plate. The man asks, "What gives?" And the waiter says, "Senor, the bullfighter doesn't always win!"
Q: What are some of the perks of living in Switzerland?
A: Well, the flag's a big plus.
Who's Saved First?
Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
How Did You Do That
Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. "Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?". "Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week." "So, Morrie," whispers Abraham "How do you start a flood?".