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The best jokes and joke writers!

Native American Listens to the Road

A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop. The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing. The tribesman began to speak... "woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, four door station wagon, traveling at 65 mph." "That's amazing" exclaimed the father. "You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground?"  "No," said the old tribesman. "They just ran over me five minutes ago"!

Sex Stats

A marketing manager boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange hellos and he notices she's reading a report about sex. He asks her about it and she replies, "It's an interesting report loaded with sexual statistics. It points out that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest diameter. By the way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto, Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

Wrong Way

A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over.

"Didn't you see the arrow, buddy?" he asked.

"An arrow?" the confused driver said. "I didn't even see the Indians!"

Indian Feathers

A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair. "How did you get that feather?" the woman asked. "I screw one squaw," the Indian said. Then, another Indian came up to her. He had two feathers in his hair. "How did you get those feathers?" she asked. "I screw two squaw," he said. Then, an Indian with a headdress of feathers came up to her. "My! How did you get all those feathers?" she asked. "I screw two squaw, four squirrel, five rabbit, eight bear." he answered. "Oh dear!" said the woman. The Indian replied, "No deer, deer jump too high, balls get stuck in bush."

What Do You Call 500 Natives Running On The Race Track?

Q: What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?

A: The Indy 500.