Jump Out of the Plane
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps.The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps.This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
Armando and his Neighbor
Armando went to his neighbor and asked, "Hey Carlos, do you like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way out?" "No," says Carlos. Armando asks, "Do you like a woman whose teets hang almost to her knees?" "No," says Carlos. "Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so mucho grande?" "Caramba! No, amigo!" Carlos replied. "Theen tell me why," asked Armando, "do you keep screwing my wife?!?"
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: What did the Mexican vampire say on Halloween?
A: I Juan to suck your blood!
Jews in Mexico?
A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican replies, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”