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The best jokes and joke writers!

Italians Wearing Gold Chains

Q: Why do Italians wear gold chains?

A: So they know where to stop shaving!

Top Ten Reasons It's Good to be Italian.

10.  In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.

9.  Not embarrassed to wear fur.

8.  No need to worry about tax returns.

7.  Glorious military history...

6.  ...well, until about 400 a.d.

5.  Can wear sunglasses inside.

4.  Political stability.

3.  Flexible working hours.

2. Live near the Pope.

1. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

I Love You in 9 Languages

HOW TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" IN 9 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES:

English - I Love you

Spanish - Te Amo

French - Je T'aime

German - Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese - Ai Shite Imasu

Italian - Ti Amo

Chinese - Wo Ai Ni

Swedish - Jag Alskar

Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Mississippi, North Carolina and Kentucky - Nice Tits

Italian Organ Grinder

A bloke who was well known for his anti Italian sentiments, was walking down the street one day with a mate, when they came across a busking act, an Italian with an organ grinding monkey. Our incipient racist stunned his friend by throwing a couple of bucks into the hat. "I thought you hated Italians?" was the comment as the friend recovered. "Yeah, I do. But even I'll admit they're cute when they're little."

Bragging

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."