St. Patrick's Day Joke

Two Irish guys walk out of a bar...

Murphy Won the Irish Sweepstakes

Murphy won the Irish Sweepstakes $100,000.00 and was on a long holiday in America. He went on a bus tour and traveled for hours and hours through desert country and oil fields. Murphy said, "Where are we now?" The guide said, "We're in the great state of Texas." "It's a big place," said Murphy. The guide said, "It's so big, that your County Kerry would fit into the smallest corner of it." And Murphy said, "Yes, and wouldn't it do wonders for it!"

Paddy and Mick and the Three Grenades

Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick asks, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy replies, "Then we'll lie and say we only found two!"