53,000 Irishman

53,000 Irishmen meet for the 'Irish Are Not Stupid' convention.

Paddy Mcloughlin addresses the crowd.. 
'We are all here today to prove to the world that the Irish are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?'
Mick O'Rourke gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
Paddy asks him 'What is 15 plus 15?'
After 15 or 20 seconds Mick says, 'Forty!'

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Irishmen start chanting 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Paddy says, 'Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here,
I think we can give him another chance.'
So he asks, 'What is 5 plus 5?'
After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, ' Twelve?'

Paddy looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.
Everyone is disheartened and Mick starts crying.
But then the 53,000 Irishmen begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, 'Give him another chance! Give him another chance!'
Paddy, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good eventually says, 'OK then, what is 2 plus 2?'
Silence hangs over the stadium.
Mick closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, 'Four?'

Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Irish crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream,
'Give him another chance! Give him another chance! 

Ancient Irishman

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late on St. Patrick's day and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing", says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died."Just then, Shamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145 years old!" "What was his name?" asks Paddy. Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

Qualification Test

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job."Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job! "Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other? "Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."