Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them to take off!
Iraqi vs. American
Iraqi vs. American
Average Iraqi Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors.
Average American Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park.
Average Iraqi Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation.
Average American Willing to participate in People's Choice Awards.
Average Iraqi Lines up by the thousands to die for country.
Average American Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty.
Average Iraqi Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West.
Average American Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn't include McCookies.
Average Iraqi Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise.
Average American Believes if, in a dream, you don't wake up before hitting the ground, you die.
Average Iraqi Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest.
Average American Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip.
Average Iraqi Thinks Saddam Hussein is a political genius.
Average American Thinks Saddam Hussein makes Dan Quayle seem like Einstein.
Iraqi and American Soldier Injured
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened. "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!'" "He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!'" "We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq
- "Mad About Everything"
- "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
- "Suddenly Sanctions"
- "Allah McBeal"
- Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
- "Achmed's Creek"
- "Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
- "Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"
- "Just Shoot Me"
Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.