French Snails

Q: Why do french people eat snails ?
A: They don't like fast food.

What it Means to be French

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
If there's a war you can surrender really early.
You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star..
Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

Royal Penis Comparison

The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis.
The king of Spain takes his out and as they all see the impressive proportions all the Spanish people shout: "Viva Espania!"
The king of France is next and as his is even larger, all the French scream: "Vive la France!"
Next comes the king of England, and just as he drops his pants and takes his out, everyone exclaims: "God save the Queen!"