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The best jokes and joke writers!

Lotta Soup

Q: What is it when you have 2000 pounds of Chinese soup?

A: Won ton.

Thailand Body

Q: In Thailand, where on the woman's body is the clitoris?

A: Depends on the surgeon

Chinese Subtitles

A list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong.

  • "I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."
  • "Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep."
  • "Gun wounds again?"
  • "Same old rules: no eyes, no groin."
  • "A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries."
  • Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!"
  • "Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants."
  • "Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"
  • "Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."
  • "You always use violence. I should have ordered glutinous rice chicken."
  • "I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!"
  • "You daring lousy guy."
  • "Beat him out of recognizable shape!"
  • "I have been scared shitless too much lately."
  • "I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"
  • "Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected."
  • "How can you use my intestines as a gift?"
  • "The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?"

Simple Chinese

  • Dung On MAI Shu - I stepped in excrement
  • Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu - Let's sleep together
  • Ai Bang Mai Ne - I bumped into the coffee table
  • Fat Ho - An unattractive woman
  • Ar U Wun Tu - A gay liberation greeting
  • Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift
  • Chow Mai Dong - Romantic proposition
  • Dum Gai - A stupid person
  • Wel Hung Gai - Is that a banana in your pocket?
  • Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention
  • Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?
  • Hu Yu Hai Ding - We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
  • Jan Ne Ka Sun - A former late night talk show host
  • Kum Hia - Approach me
  • Lao Ze Sho - Gilligan's Island
  • Lao Zi - Not very good
  • Lin Ching - An illegal execution
  • Moon Lan Ding - A great achievement of the American space program
  • Ne Ahn - A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
  • Shai Gai - A bashful person
  • Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant
  • Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse
  • Ten Ding Ba - Serving drinks to people
  • Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.
  • Yu Mai Te Tan - Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
  • Wa Shing Kah - Cleaning an automobile
  • Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?
  • Wai U Shao Ting - There is no reason to raise your voice

Zen Tao

That was Zen, this is Tao.