First Time

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night.
I wanted my first time to be special.

Sage Medical Advice

Q: What two pills should you NEVER take together?
A: Sleeping pill and a laxative.

The Bad Drugstore Salesman

John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.  Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.  Just then a man came in coughing and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once.  The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.  Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.  "He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup so I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.  "Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily.  "Sure it will," John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post.  "Just look at him.  He's afraid to cough!"