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The best jokes and joke writers!

Helen Keller's Eyes

Q: How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out?

A: She shouted hysterically.

Helen's Daughter

Q: Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper?

A: So she could always find him.

Hellen Keller's Leg

Q: Why does Helen Keller have a yellow leg?

A: Her dog is blind also.

Leper's Valentine

Q: How can you tell if a Valentine card is from a leper?

A: The tongue's still in the envelope.

Got No Ears

There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this "unusual" handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears. Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was  "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy said, "Now that you mention it, you have no ears." The man got really upset and threw the guy out. The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy also noticed, "Yes, you have no ears." The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out. Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them.  Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy replied  "Yeah, I bet you are wearing contact lenses. "Surprised, the man then asked, "Wow! That's quite perceptive of you!  How could you tell?" The guy burst out laughing and said you can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!