Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A: Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had sex with kids.
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?
A: He wiped.
Q: What did Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll?
When I was 14, I was invited to a celebrity party in Hollywood.
I swear, someone must have slipped something into my drink because after awhile I was definitely feeling Spacey.
Q: Why is New Years Day is the least favorite holiday in Hollywood?
A: They don't like it nearly as much after the balls drop.