Q: What does a Necrophiliac get at funerals?
A: Mourning Wood.
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."
My friend asked me why I have sex noises saved on my iPod. I said, "It's for sound effects during sex." He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?" I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."
Elton John vs Princess Diana
Q: What's the difference between Elton John and Princess Diana?
A: One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Dead Hookers -Riddles
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark.