Dark Humor Jokes

If you love to laugh at the jokes that shock and disgust most people, then you have found your Graceland! ROFL with these deplorable wise cracks about death, incest, domestic violence and more!

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Submitted BY: kaiofthelexx1

Looking For A Dentist

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.  "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair... try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."  The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth... try them. "The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid.  Where is your office?  I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Dentist Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Artist Sale

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Profession Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous