Brooke Gordon's Sunday Morning

Q: What does Brooke Gordon do when she gets done shaving her pussy on a Sunday morning?
A: Slaps aftershave on it and throw it in a race car.

Bill Clinton's Song

Bill's Song: This should be sung to the tune "A Few of My Favorite Things" from the movie "The Sound of Music"
The Bill Clinton version: My Favorite Things Blow jobs and land deals in backwater places, Big Macs and french fries and girls with big faces, Lots of nice cleavage that makes willie spring, These are a few of my favorite things. Susan McDougal and Gennifer Flowers, Horny young interns who while 'way the hours, Profits from futures that Hillary brings, These are a few of my favorite things. When that Jones bites, When Ken Starr stings, When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad. Beating the draft board and getting elected, Naming to judgeships some hacks I've selected, Conspiracy theories that blame the right wing, These are a few of my favorite things. Golfing with Vernon and suborning perjury, Falling down drunk that required knee surgery Stars in the White House who come here to sing, These are a few of my favorite things. Meeting with Boris and Helmut and Tony, States of the Union with lots of baloney, Winning debates and the joy of my flings, These are a few of my favorite things.

Help Wanted

As you know,  voting results in Florida elected George W. Bush president. This was suppose to have catastrophic results in our not so vital (dispensable entertainment industry). Barbara Streisand, Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon, Whoopie Goldberg, Alec Baldwin - among many others swore they would  leave the country if George Bush was elected president. They Haven't left yet. This is where you can help. We need volunteers to help pack and load moving vans. We also need airfare for these irreplaceable national treasures so they can relocate.  For the cost of a small SUV, you can sponsor one of these celebrities and their unfortunate relocation. You will know that your efforts are helping when you receive postcards, letters, and pictures from your chosen "refugee" as they learn to become useful citizens in the Third World country of their choosing.You will help, won't you? It costs so little but it means so much. Call 1-800-deport a lib. Operators are standing by. Major credit cards are accepted.