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The best jokes and joke writers!


A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian." The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, "So which part of Lesbia are you from?"

Lifestyle Acronyms

Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I'm a SNAG." Another guy says, "What's that?" The first guy says, "That means I'm a Single, New Age Guy." Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I'm a DINK. A girl asks, "What's that?" He says, "That means I'm a Double Income, No Kids." A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I'm a WIFE." Larry says, "A WIFE? What's a WIFE?" She says, "That means, "Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

Power Drink

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on... It doesn't matter to me. I just love it." His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too.

Are you federal or state?

Russian Sex

A man is at a bar. He sees a good looking woman, but she's a little older. Maybe in her 40s. He goes up to her and starts a conversation. Halfway through she seems interested and asks an interesting question. She asks how he feels about a little mother-daughter action.

The man is intrigued. She is nice enough by herself, but her daughter must be amazing. He agrees and they go back to her place. They enter the house and go upstairs. The lady knocks on a bedroom door and gently whispers:

"Mom, are you awake?"