Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
Registered Users Only
Get link for other Social Networks
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
All rights reserved.
Bar Jokes - Bar Fight Jokes
Smartie and Polo in the Pub
One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub. Suddenly the pub door swings open and in walks a Humbug."Fuck me!" shouts Polo, and immediately dives under the table. "What the fuck are you doing that for?", says Smartie. "That humbug always gives me a right good kicking whenever I see him, so I'm hiding from him." says Polo. "You should stand up to him" says Smartie. "He'll respect you more if you do".
Sure enough, the humbug walks over and gives the Polo a right slap. "Fuck off you stripy wanker, or I'll knock the fucking shit out of you", says Polo. "Hey, no problem man, can I buy you a drink?", says Humbug. "Told you so!" says Smartie.
The next night Polo and Smartie are sitting in the pub again when in walks Humbug with his mate, Tune. "Fuck me!" shouts Polo again, diving under the table. "What the fuck are you doing that for again?", says Smartie. "I know you said stand up to bullies, but that's Tune" says Polo. "So what?", says Smartie. "He's fucking menthol!" says Polo.
- 0
- 1
- 0
Mop Face Fight
I got in a bar fight one time with a big tough guy who said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
- 0
- 1
- 0
Tough Guy Eh?
A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she's crying. Her boyfriend asks her what happened. "As I was leaving the bathroom, a big guy at the pool table said he wanted to kiss my breasts all night long!" The boyfriend stood up from his stool and takes off his jacket. "He also said he wants to screw me all night long" By this time the boyfriend is furious and starts walking to the pool table. "He said he wants to drink beer from my pussy all night" The boyfriend stops, turns around, sits back up on his stool and grabs his beer. His girlfriend is stunned, and asks why he wasn't doing anything about the jerk at the pool table. The boyfriend says "I'm sorry Honey, but I'm not messing around with a guy that can drink that much beer."
- 3
- 7
- 6
