Business One-Liners

• Never bet on a loser because you think his luck is about to change.
• Never buy from a rich salesman.
• Never do anything you wouldn't be caught dead doing.
• Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
• Never eat prunes when you are famished.
• Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
• Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
• Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
• Never invest in anything that eats.
• Never kick a man unless he's down.

Three-legged Donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A: A wonkey!

Shell Game

Two little boys are in a garden playing with their pet tortoises. The first little boy says that his tortoise is the fastest , so they have a race – the first to reach the garden wall wins. The second little boy sets his tortoise lumbering off toward the wall, but the first does nothing. The second little boy says, “You’re going to lose that bet.” “No I’m not,” replies the first little boy, who picks up his tortoise and chucks it at the wall.