Second Opinion

A man rushed into the veterinarian's office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog's still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead. Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. The doctor stepped into his other room and returned with a cat in a wire cage. He set the cage on the examining table and opened the sliding door. The cat got up, stretched, stepped out of the cage and slowly walked around the dog from head to tail sniffing the body. When it was finished, it looked up at the veterinarian with a “meow”, walked back into the cage and went back to sleep.The vet looked at the man and said in his best bedside manner, "I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do.” Resigned, the man signed and said, "Thanks for trying. How much do I owe you?" "Three-hundred fifty dollars," the doctor replied. "Thr . . . thr . . .three-hundred fif-fif-fifty bucks to tell me my dog is dead!" the man stammered. "Well, it was only $50 for the office visit. The other $300 is for the CAT scan."

Cat's Away

Q: When the cat's away.....?
A: The house smells better!

Cat Knows Password

1. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy." 
2. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
3. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip..
4. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna. 
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "Cyber-Dog."
6. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 
7. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
8. On IRC you're known as the Iron-Mouser.
9. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.