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The best jokes and joke writers!

Seagulls

Q: Why do seagulls live by the sea?

A: Because if they lived by the bay, they would be called baygulls!

Parable Revisited

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

Parrot Game

Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?

A: Hide and Speak!

Rooster Call

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

A: An alarm cluck!

It"s The Butcher.

There was an elderly lady who lived by herself. She decided that it would be nice to have a talking parrot to keep her company. So the elderly lady went to the pet store and the owner of the store asked her how much she wished to spend. She was on Social Security so she had only 20 dollars to spend. The owner sadly informed the lady that there was no way she could buy a talking parrot for only 20 dollars. "But, there is a possibility!" he said. And the store owner brought out a black myna bird on a perch, and said, "You can have this myna bird for 20 dollars, but he only speaks one phrase, all he can say is 'WHO IS IT?'... that's the limit of his vocabulary." The lady was ecstatic. She paid the 20 dollars, and took the bird home. When she got home, she placed the perch near the front door and went out to get a cage , bird seed, and other items she thought her new companion might like. After the lady drove off, the man from the butcher shop showed up with his weekly delivery. He knocked on the door. "Who is it!?" shrieked the myna bird. "It's the butcher!"  said the man. "Who is it!?" repeated the bird. "Lady, it's the butcher!"  "Who is it!?" "Lady, it's the butcher!" "Who is it!?" (now exasperated beyond limit) "Lady! I said it's the GXxxXaXxed butcher!" "Who is it!?" Then the man suffers a heart attack, and falls dead face onto the ground in front of the front door. The lady returns from her shopping and sees the dead body, she opens the door and says "Oh my god! Who is it?!" ... and the myna bird promptly says, "It's the butcher!!!"