Starstruck Chicken

Q: Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road?
A: To see Gregory Peck!

You Might Be A Redneck 48

You might be a redneck if...

• You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
• Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than grandpa.
• Your masseuse uses lard.
• Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
• You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
• On stag night, you take a real deer.
• Your back porch is bigger than your house.
• There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
• You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
• A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

Yo Mama - Whale

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."