Almost No Difference

"What's the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the zookeeper.
"The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick." This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office. The zoo manager said,
"Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the North American species has a longer *quill*. In fact, their pricks are just about the same size."

Walking in Ireland

A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became hungry, so he decided to stop and ask for something to eat. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied, "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."

Sheep

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?
A: A cloud!