Polish Airplane Boom
A Polish man was taking a flight on a commercial airliner. The airliner had 4 engines, which is quite normal. About an hour into the flight, a loud BOOM occurred. The flight attendant came over the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have blown an engine, but there is no need to worry. We still have three engines, I repeat, we still have three engines." Everyone stayed calm. About another hour later, another boom. The flight attendant comes over the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have blown another engine, but there is no need to worry! We still have two more engines to go!" The people stayed calm. An hour later, the same situation. Now only one engine remained. Then, the Polish man stood up and said out loud, "Man! If this keeps up, we could be up here all day!"
A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to go. The non- has terrible flight panic.
"Hey, don't worry, it's just every 10000th flight that crashes."
"1:10000? So much? Then it surely will be mine!"
"Well, there is an easy way out. Simply take the next plane. It's much more probable that you go from a crashing to a non-crashing plane than the other way round. So you are already at 1:10000 squared."
Propellers on small planes are actually used to keep the pilot cool.
When it stops spinning, you can see the pilot start to sweat.
Feel Like a Woman
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"
Michael Jackson, Lawyer, and Boy on a Plane
Michael Jackson, his lawyer, and a small, cute boy are on a plane when the plane suddenly develops engine troubles. "Bad news," the lawyer said. "There are only two parachutes. You and me will go." "What about the boy?" asks Michael. "Screw the boy!" "Do we have time?"