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The best jokes and joke writers!

Feel Like a Woman

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

Michael Jackson, Lawyer, and Boy on a Plane

Michael Jackson, his lawyer, and a small, cute boy are on a plane when the plane suddenly develops engine troubles. "Bad news," the lawyer said. "There are only two parachutes. You and me will go." "What about the boy?" asks Michael. "Screw the boy!" "Do we have time?"

No Survivors

Q: There was an airplane crash, every single person on board died, but yet two people survived. How is this possible?

A: The two were married

Knock Knock - Urgent

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

Who's there?

The plane captain.

Two Irishmen

Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a shopping trip to Paris when the captains voice came over the loudspeaker.  "Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appears to have failed. There's nothing to worry about but we will be 15 minutes late in landing at Gatwick." Five minutes later he said, "Nothing to worry about, ladies and Gentlemen, but one of the other engines has failed, and we will now be an hour late." A moment later, "Er...sorry about this ladies and gentlemen,  but the third engine has also given up the ghost and we will now be two hours later than expected." One of the Irishmen tapped his friend on the shoulder. "Good heavens, Patrick, do you realise that if the other engine fails, we'll be here all night ?"