Pilot To Tower

Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . . 600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . . please instruct! Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot . . . repeat after me: "Our Father, which art in heaven . . ."

Who's Saved First?

Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

International Airline Acronyms

Acronyms for International Air lines
Italy ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival.
ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia.
Britain BOAC = Better on a camel.
Belgium SABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again.
Pakistan PIA = Please, Inform Allah.
Yugoslavia JAT = Joke About Time.
Pacific Western Airlines PWA = Pray While Aloft.
PWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines.
Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.