Hair Loss

Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?
Doctor: A shoebox?

A Miserable Rooster

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.  He says, "What the hell is that all about?"  The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm."  "Really?", said the salesman. "Yeah," said the farmer, "and there ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other!"

Bank Teller

 A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, "I want to open a fucking checking account". "Please sir", she replies, "we can't have language like that in here." "Why the Fuck not?" he asked. "Sir," Came her retort, "I must ask you to refrain from swearing." "I don't give a shit what you want," he answers, "I just want to open a fucking checking account." With this the teller leaves and returns in a moment with her branch manager. The manager asks if he might be able to help the gentleman. "Shit yes", came the reply, "I just won 14 million dollars in the lottery and want to open a fucking checking account." The branch manager says, "I see, and this stupid, fucking, bitch is giving you a hard time?"