Late Nite Jokes heard on T.V.
"There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head." - Jay Leno
"We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves." - David Letterman
"It looks like now the military action is taking effect. They think that bin Laden's organization is starting to break down. Today satellite photos actually show the sand fleas are leaving his beard." - David Letterman
"There are now rumors that the Taliban has been poisoning the food we have been dropping. We should make a deal with the people of Afghanistan. We'll taste your food, you check our mail." - Jay Leno
"People are wondering what will happen to Afghanistan when we're finished fighting there. I'm sure there are plans to rebuild the country, and a lot of times with rebuilding comes a name change. These are some possible name changes the government has been mulling over: Halfghanistan, Pothole-istan, Jenniferanistan, Assbackwardstan, Bye-bye-Talibanstan, Ass-Kicked-istan." - Jay Leno
"Everybody is talking about finding bin Laden. How about finding Dick Cheney? Where did he go? What have we got caves over here now, too? Where did he go? I think his Secret Service code name is 'Waldo." - Jay Leno
"We are getting more and more insight into the life of Osama bin Laden. Today the Saudi Arabian ambassador to the United States said that bin Laden had an unhappy childhood growing up, 52 brothers and sisters. You think his childhood was unhappy, wait 'til we deliver his mid-life crisis." - Jay Leno
"There are reports on the news tonight that members of the Taliban feel persecuted and fear their own safety. So now they know what it is like to feel like a woman in their country." - Jay Leno
New USA Single
The USA just dropped a new single.
It quickly became the number 1 hit in Afghanistan.
Q: How do you stop a Taliban tank?
A: Shoot the guy pushing it!
Salami Bin Coward & the Talibuttheads
Q & A's about Salami Bin Coward & the Talibuttheads:
Q: Why does Salami Bin Coward carry a Turd in his pocket?
A: It's his photo ID.
Q: What do Salami Bin Coward and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing - yet.
Q: How do you play Talibutthead bingo?
Q: What is the Talibuttheads national bird?
Q: How is Salami Bin Coward like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: What does Salami Bin Coward and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What's the difference between the Talibuttheads and a bucket of crap?
A: The bucket.
Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.
Q: Why don't Salami Bin Coward's people eat turd sandwiches?
A: They hate bread.
Q: Why don't the Talibuttheads have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
A: The camels can't handle it.
Taliban Not Circumcised
Q: How come the Taliban are not circumcised?
A: It gives them a place to put their bubblegum during a sandstorm.