Telephone Jokes

Answering Machine - Alien Abduction

Hi, you've reached 474-2340. Don, Kendy and Sylvia can't come to the phone right now because they've been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by android duplicates. You could leave your name and number at the tone, but I wouldn't -- you might be next! (evil laugh) 

Categories: Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous

Answering Machine - Satanic Hotline

Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment. If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you... When hell freezes over. 

Categories: Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Devil Jokes)
Anonymous

Answering Machine - French Monologue

French monologue in the background: Around the world today, millions still speak French as either a first or second language. But with your continued support and help, we can wipe out French in our lifetime. Please leave a message in English at the tone, and remember, if someone tries to speak French to you, just say, "non". 

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (French Jokes) , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous