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The best jokes and joke writers!

No Oranges

Father: If I had ten oranges and gave you two, how many would I have left?

Son: I don't know, because in school we learn on apples.

iCar

Q: If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

Computer Related Bumper Stickers

  1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
  2. <-------- The information went data way
  3. The name is Baud...James Baud.
  4. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
  5. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
  6. C:V> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
  7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
  8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no stinking backups.
  9. E Pluribus Modem
  10. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  11. Ethernet: something used to catch the etherbunny
  12. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
  13. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
  14. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
  15. SENILE.COM found; Out Of Memory
  16. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
  17. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
  18. COFFEE.EXE Missing- Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  19. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
  20. E-mail returned to sender - insufficient voltage. 
  21. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
  22. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
  23. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
  24. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
  25. REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
  26. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
  27. Hit any user to continue.
  28. Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
  29. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
  30. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

Computer Heaven or Hell

In Computer Heaven:
The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.

In Computer Hell:
The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.

Siri Halloween

Apple user: Siri, what should I be for Halloween?

Siri: You should dress up as chap stick and tell people you're "the balm"