A Golf Gotcha!

Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'." The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it and off they went. Coming back from the 18th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100. "What happened?" asked one of the members. "Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, the jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls while yelling 'Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second 'gotcha'?"

The Honeymoon

A guy out on the golf course takes a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way." The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them. She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts." He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"

Golf With Benefits

A man asks an attractive woman on the golf course if she'd like to play a round with him. She wins by four strokes. Sensing the guy's embarrassment, the woman offers to take him to the parking lot and give him head in her car to make him feel better. For the rest of the week, they play together every morning. The woman wins by four or five strokes each time and then goes down on him in the parking lot. On Friday, he invites her to his house for a romantic dinner. That evening, they have a lovely meal and move to the couch to fool around. The woman pulls away and says, "That's it -- stop, wait -- I must confess something to you. I'm a transvestite. I'm really a man!" "You son of a bitch!" the guy exclaims. "You've been hitting off the women's tee all week!"