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The best jokes and joke writers!

MLB Member Quotes

  • "It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then I'd probably have seen a lot more of my husband." - Karolyn Rose, ex-wife of Pete Rose, 1981
  • "It's a weird scene. You win a few baseball games and all of a sudden, you're surrounded by reporters and TV men with cameras asking you about Vietnam and race relations." - Vida Blue, 1971
  • "I watch a lot of baseball on the radio." - Gerald Ford, 1978
  • "It's a beautiful day for a night game." - Announcer Frankie Frisch
  • "The most important things in life are good friends and a strong bull pen." - Pitcher Bob Lemon, 1981
  • "Well, that kind of puts a damper on another Yankees win." - Announcer Phil Rizzuto, after a news bulletin reporting the death of Pope Paul VI, 1978.
  • "They brought me up with the Brooklyn Dodgers, which at time was in Brooklyn." - Casey Stengel, 1962
  • "I won't play for a penny less than $1500." - Honus Wagner, turning down an offer of $2000.

Louisville Slugger

Hey babe, I got a Louisville slugger... in my pants! High five!

Walk Home

If you make it to third base, I'll go ahead and walk you home. High five!

Confucius on Baseball

Confucius say: ''Baseball wrong, man with four balls cannot walk."

Hell's Temperatures

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hells all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for three days. After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says, "I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this." So Satan tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks. So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says "I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dry spells that were hotter and longer than this." Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months. After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking, "What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"