Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A: Men always miss them!
Q: What is the most insensitive part of a penis?
A: The man
Dreams: Difference Between Genders
Q: Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?
A: Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Bartender Robbed and Harrassed
A bartender was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!" The scared bartender pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!" The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!" The bartender says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!" The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the bartender's head and says, Alright, now give me a blowjob!" "Anything!" cries the bartender, "Just don't shoot!" The bartender starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited he drops the gun. The bartender sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! One of my friends might walk in!"
Men In Heaven
Q: Why do so few men end up in heaven?
A: They never stop to ask for directions.