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The best jokes and joke writers!

Dreams: Difference Between Genders

Q: Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?

A: Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Looking for Love

An woman walks into a drug store and asks the man behind the counter if they sell extra large condoms. The clerk looks at the woman quizzically, but shrugs and tells her "Yes, we do. They're right here behind the counter." The woman thanks the clerk and sits down in a nearby chair. The clerk asks the woman, "Is there something else I can help you with, Ma'am?" The woman winks and smiles at the clerk and says "No, thank you. I'm just waiting here to see who buys them".

Fortunate Twist of Fate

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."

Lots of Words

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving. They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.

Men Are Like Weather

Q: How is a man like the weather?

A: Nothing can be done to change either one of them.