How Dogs and Women are Alike

• Both look stupid in hats.
• Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.
• Both tend to have "hip" problems.
• Neither understand football.
• Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.
• Neither believe that silence is golden.
• Both constantly want back rubs.
• Neither can balance a checkbook.
• You can never tell what either of them is thinking.
• Both put too much value on kissing.
  
  How women are better than dogs:
  
• It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.
• Women look good in sweaters.

A Woman's Seminars

New summer seminars for women;

• The Auto Hood Release, What Is It And Why Is It There Life Beyond Shoes Money
• The Non-Renewable Resource
• How To Get 90 Minutes Out Of An Hour
• Why Men Don't Like Any Of Your Friends
• How To Be A Victim Of Marketing
• How To Get Out Of Bed Without Waking Up Your Man
• Is There Really Enough Makeup In The World
• How To Get The Most Out Of A Garbage Bag
• Cigar Smoke And Its Benefits
• Clocks And Time: The Mysterious Connection
• Tupperware: Its Social And Environmental Drawbacks
• Where To Look When Your Automobile Is In Reverse
• Learning When Not To Talk, And Then Not Talking
• How To Avoid Turning Into Your Mother
• Quality Time: When You And Your Husband Should Spend Time Apart
• Beyond The Front Page: Exploring The Daily Newspaper
• How To Accept Criticism or When To Give Up On Cooking
• Telltales Sounds Associated With Auto Collisions
• Toilet Paper And The Loss Of The Rain Forests: The Vital Connection
• When Ignorance Can Be A Blessing: Household Finances And You
• How To Keep 'Em Guessing
• 101 Ways To Fold A Towel
• Talking And Driving: There's Got To Be A Way

Terrorist and PMS

Q:  What is the difference between a terrorist and a PMS woman?
A:  You can negotiate with the terrorist.