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Chain Letter
Dear Sister,
This letter was started by a woman in the hope of bringing relief to other tired and discontented females. Unlike other chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy to 5 of your friends who are equally tired and discontented, then bundle up your husband/boyfriend. Send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list and add your name to the bottom of the list.
When your name comes to the top of the list you will receive 16,877 men and one of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have. Do not break the chain. One woman broke the chain and got her own bastard back. At this writing a friend of mine has already received 184 men. They buried her yesterday, but it took 3 undertakers 36 hours to wipe the smile off her face, and 3 days to get her legs together to close the coffin.
Have Faith,
Liberated Woman
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Bedroom Statue
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to." she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey?" the husband asked as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue." she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked the idea so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the "statue." Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went into the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here." he said to the 'statue.' "Eat this. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."
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The Three Nuns and the Father
Three nuns are talking. The first nun says, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nun asks. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun says, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasp the other nuns. "What did you do?" they ask. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replies. The third nun faints.
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